Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Day 17: Why aren't I skinny yet, damn it!?

I know it's really early for comments like that, but this is my sanctuary and that's how I feel so I'm blogging about it!

I always find that when I'm successfully losing weight, I start daydreaming about how amazing it will be when I've lost X pounds and got to Y stage in my journey, then I start daydreaming about it too much and then I forget that I'm not actually there yet and get quite frustrated and disappointed when I get knocked out of my daydream and fall back down to reality!

We're two and a half weeks in, I've lost over 25 pounds and yet because of these consuming daydreams I'm actually disappointed with the speed of my loss - if it was any faster I'd probably be dying and yet I still want more! I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels like this and I'm sure once I get to the 2 to 3 month point in my diet, I will have finally accepted that this is actually a long, life-changing experience and I shouldn't expect miracles overnight, but while I'm waiting to reach that point I'd like to ask how did/do you guys deal with your own unrealistic expectations?

These feelings of disappointment are doing their very best to make me feeling guilty about my little weekend hiccup, planting seeds in my mind along the lines of "Well if only you hadn't have had those drinks and that pizza, perhaps you would be losing faster" which isn't making me feel all that great. I'm not fishing for "Don't be stupid you're doing amazing" comments here but just some genuine advice (if you have any) on how you tackle this negative thought process?

Anyway, I'll leave that question with you! I've finally got up to speed with my blogging, I may have missed a couple of posts from about 5 or 6 days ago, but any post from the people I follow that went up in the last 2 or 3 days has been read entirely and I feel much better now that I'm up to speed.

I was really naughty. I weighed myself yesterday when I shouldn't have - I was fully dressed, in jeans, it was half way through the day so I'd already eaten and the scales showed a gain of 2.2kg since weigh in. I know I shouldn't have done it but I kept waking up feeling heavy after the weekend and I needed to know if I was feeling heavy for a reason. I wish I didn't know now as it's confirmed the disappointment I was talking about.

To make matters worse, my flat mate is having her birthday party before my weigh-in this weekend at our place and then going out, she might kill me in my sleep if I don't go and the entire day is due to revolve around eating naughty food and drinking even naughtier drink. I don't know what I'm going to do. Perhaps send myself off to a nunnery and tell the nuns I've had a change of heart on the Sunday? That could work. All I know is I don't want to be disappointed through all of next week after another boozy blowout. C'est la vie I guess.

Breakfast: Nothing (Sorry! Overslept again, blame the blogs!)
Lunch: Jacket potato with 28g cheese & beans and a side salad
Dinner: Slimming World chips with 3x Quorn sausages and mushy peas

1 comment:

  1. Don't forget your weight is going to naturally fluctuate during the week due to water intake, we haven't been drinking that much this week so it might be that. I need to bump my water intake the rest of this week, why don't you try it too :)

    Also I'm at the 3 month stage at the moment and one week I'm really focused and the next week I'm totally unfocused and it goes to hell. I think I really need pressure just to keep me on track.